SELF-AWARENESS

As I open my eyes and see every little word full of appreciation, perception, and impression about me, the darkness in me breaks and all the colors shine through me, and just like my favorite quotation, “You are all the colors in one at full brightness.” I felt that.

In this world full of circumstances, loads, and problems and surrounded by busy people, I forget to reflect on myself. Asking myself if I am okay, reminding myself about the things that I do have right now and telling myself that I am more and I can do better every time I feel bad about myself. Those words that people wrote about me are not just words. Instead, those words are necessary for my growth as an individual. A little appreciation message that brings joy and a smile to my face. A simple statement that brightens up my day. I have been waiting for somebody who will write the other way around about me, and this one statement made me ask myself if it is negative or not. “A selfless person.” This statement made me realize how much I have been offering myself for other people, how much I give, and how much I pay attention to their problems than mine. This statement reminds me to take care of myself because everything will start from us. Is the saying, “How can we give something we do not have?”

Most people see me as a talented one, but some might see me as a quiet and shy type. Some say I am trustworthy, but they don’t know that I usually forget the story to keep it in me. Some say I am a strong woman, but they don’t know about my survival mode during a pandemic. Just like Jonathan Larson, I also hear tick tick tick.. which makes me move continuously, to keep trying, and to keep proving to myself that I can do more and be better.

I am Olivia Sanchez. I am not perfect, but I will strive for more strengths to be able to lessen my weaknesses. Your reaction to me is an awareness of me.